Humor: Worst of Fortunes for Thursday January 12, 2023

Andrea's Admonition: Never bestow profanity upon...
Andrea's Admonition: Never bestow profanity upon a driver who has wronged you. If you think his window is closed and he can't hear you, it isn't and he can.

An artist who lived in Australia Once painted his ass like...
An artist who lived in Australia Once painted his ass like a Dahlia. The drawing was fine, The colour - devine, The scent - ah, that was a failia.

There was a young bride of Antigua Whose husband said,...
There was a young bride of Antigua Whose husband said, "Dear me, how big you are!" Said the girl, "What damn'd rot! Why, you've only felt my twot, My legs and my arse and my figua!"

There was a young chap in Arabia Who courted a widow named...
There was a young chap in Arabia Who courted a widow named Fabia. "Yes, my tongue is as long As the average man's dong," He said, licking the lips of her labia.

A CODE OF ETHICAL BEHAVIOR FOR PATIENTS: 4. DO NOT COMPLAIN...
A CODE OF ETHICAL BEHAVIOR FOR PATIENTS: 4. DO NOT COMPLAIN IF THE TREATMENT FAILS TO BRING RELIEF. You must believe that your doctor has achieved a deep insight into the true nature of your illness, which transcends any mere permanent ...

A fake fortuneteller can be tolerated. But an authentic...
A fake fortuneteller can be tolerated. But an authentic soothsayer should be shot on sight. Cassandra did not get half the kicking around she deserved. -- R.A. Heinlein

A halted retreat Is nerve-wracking and dangerous. To retain...
A halted retreat Is nerve-wracking and dangerous. To retain people as men -- and maidservants Brings good fortune.

A lifetime isn't nearly long enough to figure out what it's...
A lifetime isn't nearly long enough to figure out what it's all about.

A man said to the Universe: "Sir, I exist!" ...
A man said to the Universe: "Sir, I exist!" "However," replied the Universe, "the fact has not created in me a sense of obligation." -- Stephen Crane