Humor: Best of Fortunes for Saturday September 15, 2007

I'd never cry if I did find A blue whale in...
I'd never cry if I did find A blue whale in my soup... Nor would I mind a porcupine Inside a chicken coop. Yes life is fine when things combine, Like ham in beef chow mein... But lord, this time I think I mind, They've...

Never have children, only grandchildren. --...
Never have children, only grandchildren. -- Gore Vidal

Razors pain you; Rivers are damp; Acids stain you; And drugs...
Razors pain you; Rivers are damp; Acids stain you; And drugs cause cramp. Guns aren't lawful; Nooses give; Gas smells awful; You might as well live. -- Dorothy Parker, "Resume", 1926

What one fool can do, another can. -- Ancient...
What one fool can do, another can. -- Ancient Simian Proverb

What orators lack in depth they make up in length.
What orators lack in depth they make up in length.

A doctoral student from Buckingham Wrote his thesis on cunts...
A doctoral student from Buckingham Wrote his thesis on cunts and on fucking'em. But a dropout from paree Taught him Gamahuchee So he added a footnote on sucking 'em.

The scum also rises. -- Dr. Hunter S. Thompson
The scum also rises. -- Dr. Hunter S. Thompson

Oh, yeah, life goes on, long after the thrill of livin'...
Oh, yeah, life goes on, long after the thrill of livin' is gone. -- John Cougar, "Jack and Diane"