Humor: Best of Fortunes for the month of April, 2006

I was working on a case. It had to be a case, because...
I was working on a case. It had to be a case, because I couldn't afford a desk. Then I saw her. This tall blond lady. She must have been tall because I was on the third floor. She rolled her deep blue eyes towards me. I picked them up and rolled...

Sex is about as important as a cheese sandwich. But a cheese...
Sex is about as important as a cheese sandwich. But a cheese sandwich, if you ain't got one to put in your belly, is extremely important. -- Ian Dury

The hidden flaw never remains hidden.
The hidden flaw never remains hidden.

When somebody drops something, everybody will kick it around...
When somebody drops something, everybody will kick it around instead of picking it up.

Different all twisty a of in maze are you, passages little.
Different all twisty a of in maze are you, passages little.

It isn't easy being the parent of a six-year-old. However,...
It isn't easy being the parent of a six-year-old. However, it's a pretty small price to pay for having somebody around the house who understands computers.

According to the Rand McNally Places-Rated Almanac, the best...
According to the Rand McNally Places-Rated Almanac, the best place to live in America is the city of Pittsburgh. The city of New York came in twenty-fifth. Here in New York we really don't care too much. Because we know that we could beat up their city...

High Priest: Armaments Chapter One, verses nine through...
High Priest: Armaments Chapter One, verses nine through twenty-seven: Bro. Maynard: And Saint Attila raised the Holy Hand Grenade up on high saying, "Oh Lord, Bless us this Holy Hand Grenade, and with it smash our enemies...

The only difference in the game of love over the last...
The only difference in the game of love over the last few thousand years is that they've changed trumps from clubs to diamonds. -- The Indianapolis Star

There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear.
There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear.