Humor: Best of Fortunes for the month of September, 2006

Pittsburgh Driver's Test (8) Pedestrians are (a)...
Pittsburgh Driver's Test (8) Pedestrians are (a) irrelevant. (b) communists. (c) a nuisance. (d) difficult to clean off the front grille. The correct answer is (a). Pedestrians are not in cars, so they are totally...

The bureaucracy is expanding to meet the needs of...
The bureaucracy is expanding to meet the needs of an expanding bureaucracy.

Captain Penny's Law: You can fool all of the people...
Captain Penny's Law: You can fool all of the people some of the time, and some of the people all of the time, but you Can't Fool Mom.

Oh, yeah, life goes on, long after the thrill of livin'...
Oh, yeah, life goes on, long after the thrill of livin' is gone. -- John Cougar, "Jack and Diane"

The Preacher, the Politician, the Teacher, Were each...
The Preacher, the Politician, the Teacher, Were each of them once a kiddie. A child, indeed, is a wonderful creature. Do I want one? God Forbiddie! -- Ogden Nash

God instructs the heart, not by ideas, but by pains...
God instructs the heart, not by ideas, but by pains and contradictions. -- De Caussade

"I don't like spinach, and I'm glad I don't, because if...
"I don't like spinach, and I'm glad I don't, because if I liked it I'd eat it, and I just hate it." -- Clarence Darrow

"Life to you is a bold and dashing responsibility" ...
"Life to you is a bold and dashing responsibility" -- a Mary Chung's fortune cookie

"Qvid me anxivs svm?"
"Qvid me anxivs svm?"

"The identical is equal to itself, since it...
"The identical is equal to itself, since it is different." -- Franco Spisani