Humor: Best of Fortunes for Thursday May 21, 2015

If once a man indulges himself in murder, very soon he comes...
If once a man indulges himself in murder, very soon he comes to think little of robbing; and from robbing he next comes to drinking and Sabbath-breaking, and from that to incivility and procrastination. -- Thomas De Quincey

There once was a lawyer named Rex With minuscule organs...
There once was a lawyer named Rex With minuscule organs of sex. Arraigned for exposure, He maintained with composure, "De minimis non curat lex." [Trans: the law does not concern itself with small things. Ed.]

The wise programmer is told about the Tao and follows it...
The wise programmer is told about the Tao and follows it. The average programmer is told about the Tao and searches for it. The foolish programmer is told about the Tao and laughs at it. If it were not for laughter, there would be no Tao...

You will inherit millions of dollars.
You will inherit millions of dollars.

A rope lying over the top of a fence is the same length on each...
A rope lying over the top of a fence is the same length on each side. It weighs one third of a pound per foot. On one end hangs a monkey holding a banana, and on the other end a weight equal to the weight of the monkey. The banana weighs two ounces...

Philogyny recapitulates erogeny; erogeny recapitulates...
Philogyny recapitulates erogeny; erogeny recapitulates philogyny.