Humor: Best of Fortunes for Saturday May 30, 2015

There was a young man from Glengozzle Who found a remarkable...
There was a young man from Glengozzle Who found a remarkable fossil. He knew by the bend And the wart on the end, 'Twas the peter of Paul the Apostle.

There was a young man from Kent Whose tool was so long that...
There was a young man from Kent Whose tool was so long that it bent. To save himself trouble He put it in double And instead of coming, he went.

There was a young man named Laplace Whose balls were made...
There was a young man named Laplace Whose balls were made out of spun glass. When they banged together They played "Stormy Weather" And lightning shot out of his ass.

There was a young man named McNamiter With a tool of prodigious...
There was a young man named McNamiter With a tool of prodigious diameter. But it wasn't the size Gave the girls a surprise, But his rythm -- iambic pentameter.

There was a young man named Zerubbabel Who had only one real,...
There was a young man named Zerubbabel Who had only one real, and one rubber ball. When they asked if his pleasure Was only half measure, He replied, "That is highly improbable."

There was a young man named Zerubbabub Who belonged to...
There was a young man named Zerubbabub Who belonged to the Block, Fuck & Bugger Club But the pride of his life Were the tits of his wife -- One real, and one India-rubber bub.

Life is like a tin of sardines. We're, all of us, looking...
Life is like a tin of sardines. We're, all of us, looking for the key. -- Beyond the Fringe