Humor: Best of Fortunes for Friday August 7, 2015

There once was a man from Madras, Whose balls were made out...
There once was a man from Madras, Whose balls were made out of brass. When they clanged together, They played "Stormy Weather", And lightning shot out of his ass.

There was a young lady from Hyde Who ate a green apple...
There was a young lady from Hyde Who ate a green apple and died. While her lover lamented The apple fermented And made cider inside her inside.

There was an old man of the port Whose prick was remarkably...
There was an old man of the port Whose prick was remarkably short. When he got into bed, The old woman said, "That isn't a prick; it's a wart!"

Not drinking, chasing women, or doing drugs won't make you live...
Not drinking, chasing women, or doing drugs won't make you live longer -- it just seems that way.