Humor: Best of Fortunes for Tuesday August 18, 2015

A doctoral student from Buckingham Wrote his thesis on cunts...
A doctoral student from Buckingham Wrote his thesis on cunts and on fucking'em. But a dropout from paree Taught him Gamahuchee - so he added a footnote on sucking 'em.

There once was a man named McSweeny Who spilled lots of gin...
There once was a man named McSweeny Who spilled lots of gin on his weeney So just to be couth He added vermouth And slipped his best girl a martini.

Families, when a child is born Want it to be intelligent. I,...
Families, when a child is born Want it to be intelligent. I, through intelligence, Having wrecked my whole life, Only hope the baby will prove Ignorant and stupid. Then he will crown a tranquil life By becoming a Cabinet Minister --...