Humor: Best of Fortunes for Wednesday January 24, 2018

May you die in bed at 95, shot by a jealous spouse.
May you die in bed at 95, shot by a jealous spouse.

May you have many handsome and obedient sons.
May you have many handsome and obedient sons.

There once was a man from Nantucket, Whose cock was so long...
There once was a man from Nantucket, Whose cock was so long he could suck it. He said with a grin, As he wiped off his chin, If my ear were a cunt I could fuck it!

Graduating seniors, parents and friends... Let me begin...
Graduating seniors, parents and friends... Let me begin by reassuring you that my remarks today will stand up to the most stringent requirements of the new appropriateness. The intra-college sensitivity advisory committee has vetted...