Humor: Best of Fortunes for Monday January 22, 2018

There once was a lady named Myrtle Who had an affair with...
There once was a lady named Myrtle Who had an affair with a turtle. She had crabs, so they say, In a year and a day Which proved that that turtle was fertile.

There was a young man from Kent Whose tool was so long that...
There was a young man from Kent Whose tool was so long that it bent. To save himself trouble He put it in double And instead of coming, he went.

That's life. What's life? A magazine. How much does...
That's life. What's life? A magazine. How much does it cost? Two-fifty. I only have a dollar. That's life.