Humor: Best of Fortunes for Thursday July 11, 2019

ACHTUNG!!! Das machine is nicht fur gefingerpoken...
ACHTUNG!!! Das machine is nicht fur gefingerpoken und mittengrabben. Ist easy schnappen der springenwerk, blowenfusen und corkenpoppen mit spitzensparken. Ist nicht fur gewerken by das dummkopfen. Das rubbernecken sightseeren keepen hands in...

A water pipe suited miss Hunt; She used it for many a bunt...
A water pipe suited miss Hunt; She used it for many a bunt. But the unlucky wench Got it caught in her trench --- It took twenty-two men and a big Stillson wrench, To get the thing out of her cunt.

There once was a lady named Myrtle Who had an affair with...
There once was a lady named Myrtle Who had an affair with a turtle. She had crabs, so they say, In a year and a day Which proved that that turtle was fertile.

There once was a man from Nantee Who buggered an ape in...
There once was a man from Nantee Who buggered an ape in a tree. The results were most horrid All ass and no forehead Three balls and a purple goatee.

There once was a man named Parridge With peculiar views...
There once was a man named Parridge With peculiar views on marriage. He sucked off his brother, Fucked his own mother, And gobbled his sister's miscarriage.

There was a young belle of old Natchez Whose garments were...
There was a young belle of old Natchez Whose garments were always in patchez. When comment arose On the state of her clothes She, drawled, "When ah itchez, ah scratchez."

There was a young lady from Maine Who claimed she had men...
There was a young lady from Maine Who claimed she had men on her brain. But you knew from the view, As her abdomen grew, It was not on her brain that he'd lain.