Humor: Best of Fortunes for the month of February, 2019

A new dramatist of the absurd Has a voice that will shortly...
A new dramatist of the absurd Has a voice that will shortly be heard. I learn from my spies He's about to devise An unprintable three-letter word.

A young violinist from Rio Was seducing a woman named Cleo...
A young violinist from Rio Was seducing a woman named Cleo. As she took down her panties She said, "No andantes; I want this allegro con brio!"

There was a young lady named Brent With a cunt of enormous...
There was a young lady named Brent With a cunt of enormous extent, And so deep and so wide, The acoustics inside Were so good you could hear when you spent.

There was a young man from Kent Whose tool was so long that...
There was a young man from Kent Whose tool was so long that it bent. To save himself trouble He put it in double And instead of coming, he went.

They told me you had proven it When they discovered...
They told me you had proven it When they discovered our results About a month before. Their hair began to curl The proof was valid, more or less Instead of understanding it But rather less than more...

ACHTUNG!!! Das machine is nicht fur gefingerpoken...
ACHTUNG!!! Das machine is nicht fur gefingerpoken und mittengrabben. Ist easy schnappen der springenwerk, blowenfusen und corkenpoppen mit spitzensparken. Ist nicht fur gewerken by das dummkopfen. Das rubbernecken sightseeren keepen hands in...

Osborn's Law: Variables won't; constants aren't.
Osborn's Law: Variables won't; constants aren't.

Harrisberger's Fourth Law of the Lab: Experience...
Harrisberger's Fourth Law of the Lab: Experience is directly proportional to the amount of equipment ruined.

No proper program contains an indication which as...
No proper program contains an indication which as an operator-applied occurrence identifies an operator-defining occurrence which as an indication-applied occurrence identifies an indication-defining occurrence different from the one identified by...

A computer, to print out a fact, Will divide, multiply,...
A computer, to print out a fact, Will divide, multiply, and subtract. But this output can be No more than debris, If the input was short of exact. -- Gigo