Humor: Best of Fortunes for Wednesday September 18, 2019

There once was a man named McSweeny Who spilled lots of gin...
There once was a man named McSweeny Who spilled lots of gin on his weeney So just to be couth He added vermouth And slipped his best girl a martini.

There was a bluestocking in Florence Wrote anti-sex pamphlets...
There was a bluestocking in Florence Wrote anti-sex pamphlets in torrents, Till a Spanish grandee, Got her off with his knee, And she burned all her works with abhorrence.

There was a young fellow from Cal., In bed with a passionate...
There was a young fellow from Cal., In bed with a passionate gal. He leapt from the bed, To the toilet he sped; Said the gal, "What about me, old pal?"

There was a young lady from Wheeling Who had a peculiar...
There was a young lady from Wheeling Who had a peculiar feeling. She laid on her back And tickled her crack And pissed all over the ceiling.