Freebsd Fortunes 4

If the English language made any sense, lackadaisical
would have something to do with a shortage of flowers.
                -- Doug Larson

[Not to mention, butterfly would be flutterby. Ed.]

If the facts don't fit the theory, change the facts.
                -- Albert Einstein

If the future isn't what it used to be, does that
mean that the past is subject to change in times to come?

If the girl you love moves in with another guy once, it's more than enough.
Twice, it's much too much.  Three times, it's the story of your life.

If the government doesn't trust the people, why
doesn't it dissolve them and elect a new people?

If the grass is greener on other side of fence,
consider what may be fertilizing it.

If the human brain were so simple that we could understand it,
we would be so simple we couldn't.

If the Lord God Almighty had consulted me before embarking upon the Creation,
I would have recommended something simpler.
                -- Alfonso the Wise, 13th Century King of Castile,
                   Commenting on the Almagest, by Ptolemy.

If the master dies and the disciple grieves,
the lives of both have been wasted.

If the meanings of "true" and "false" were switched,
then this sentence would not be false.