Freebsd Fortunes 4

Hier liegt ein Mann ganz ohnegleich;
Im Leibe dick, an Suenden reich.
Wir haben ihn in das Grab gesteckt,     Here lies a man with sundry flaws
Weil es uns duenkt er sei verreckt.     And numerous Sins upon his head;
                                        We buried him today because
                                        As far as we can tell, he's dead.

                -- PDQ Bach's epitaph, as requested by his cousin Betty
                   Sue Bach and written by the local doggeral catcher;
                   "The Definitive Biography of PDQ Bach", Peter Schickele

Higgeldy Piggeldy,
Hamlet of Elsinore
Ruffled the critics by
Dropping this bomb:
"Phooey on Freud and his
Psychoanalysis,
Oedipus, Shmoedipus,
I just loved Mom."

Higgins:        Doolittle, you're either an honest man or a rogue.
Doolittle:      A little of both, Guv'nor.  Like the rest of us, a
                little of both.
                -- Shaw, "Pygmalion"

High heels are a device invented by a woman
who was tired of being kissed on the forehead.

High Priest:    Armaments Chapter One, verses nine through twenty-seven:
Bro. Maynard:   And Saint Attila raised the Holy Hand Grenade up on high
        saying, "Oh Lord, Bless us this Holy Hand Grenade, and with it
        smash our enemies to tiny bits."  And the Lord did grin, and the
        people did feast upon the lambs, and stoats, and orangutans, and
        breakfast cereals, and lima bean-
High Priest:    Skip a bit, brother.
Bro. Maynard:   And then the Lord spake, saying: "First, shalt thou take
        out the holy pin.  Then shalt thou count to three.  No more, no less.
        *Three* shall be the number of the counting, and the number of the
        counting shall be three.  *Four* shalt thou not count, and neither
        count thou two, excepting that thou then goest on to three.  Five is
        RIGHT OUT.  Once the number three, being the third number be reached,
        then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade towards thy foe, who, being
        naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.  Amen.
All:    Amen.
                -- Monty Python, "The Holy Hand Grenade"

HIGH TECHNOLOGY:
        A California innovation composed
        of equal parts of silicon and marijuana.

Higher education helps your earning capacity.  Ask any college professor.

Hildebrant's Principle:
        If you don't know where you are going,
        any road will get you there.

Him:    "Your skin is so soft.  Are you a model?"
Her:    "No,"  [blush]  "I'm a cosmetologist."
Him:    "Really? That's incredible...
        It must be very tough to handle weightlessness."
                -- "The Jerk"

Hindsight is always 20:20.
                -- Billy Wilder