Freebsd Fortunes 4

If you think before you speak the other guy gets his joke in first.

If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.
                -- Derek Bok, president of Harvard

If you think last Tuesday was a drag,
wait till you see what happens tomorrow!

If you think nobody cares if you're alive,
try missing a couple of car payments.
                -- Earl Wilson

If you think the pen is mightier than the sword, the next time
someone pulls out a sword I'd like to see you get up there with
your Bic.

If you think the problem is bad now, just wait until we've solved it.
                -- Arthur Kasspe

If you think the system is working,
ask someone who's waiting for a prompt.

If you think the United States has stood still,
who built the largest shopping center in the world?
                -- Richard Nixon

If you think things can't get worse it's probably only because you
lack sufficient imagination.

If you throw a New Year's Party, the worst thing that you can do would be
to throw the kind of party where your guests wake up today, and call you to
say they had a nice time.  Now you'll be be expected to throw another party
next year.
        What you should do is throw the kind of party where your guest wake
        up several days from now and call their lawyers to find out if
they've been indicted for anything.  You want your guests to be so anxious
to avoid a recurrence of your party that they immediately start planning
parties of their own, a year in advance, just to prevent you from having
another one ...
        If your party is successful, the police will knock on your door,
unless your party is very successful in which case they will lob tear gas
through your living room window.  As host, your job is to make sure that
they don't arrest anybody.  Or if they're dead set on arresting someone,
your job is to make sure it isn't you ...
                -- Dave Barry