Freebsd Fortunes 4

If your parents don't have kids, neither will you.

If your sexual fantasies were truly of interest to others, they would no
longer be fantasies.
                -- Fran Lebowitz

If you're a real good kid, I'll give you a
piggy-back ride on a buzz-saw.
                -- W.C. Fields

If you're a young Mafia gangster out on your first date, I bet it's real
embarrassing if someone tries to kill you.
                -- Jack Handey

If you're careful enough, nothing
bad or good will ever happen to you.

If you're carrying a torch, put it down.
The Olympics are over.

If you're constantly being mistreated,
you're cooperating with the treatment.

If you're crossing the nation in a covered wagon, it's better to have four
strong oxen than 100 chickens.  Chickens are OK but we can't make them work
together yet.
                -- Ross Bott, Pyramid U.S., on multiprocessors at AUUGM '89.

If you're going to America, bring your own food.
                -- Fran Lebowitz, "Social Studies"

If you're going to do something tonight
that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late.
                -- Henny Youngman