Freebsd Fortunes 4

Jenkinson's Law:
        It won't work.

Jim, it's Grace at the bank.  I checked your Christmas Club account.
You don't have five-hundred dollars.  You have fifty.  Sorry, computer foul-up!

Jim, it's Jack.  I'm at the airport.  I'm going to Tokyo and wanna pay
you the five-hundred I owe you.  Catch you next year when I get back!

Jim Nasium's Law:
        In a large locker room with hundreds of lockers, the few people
        using the facility at any one time will all have lockers next to
        each other so that everybody is cramped.

Jim, this is Janelle.  I'm flying tonight, so I can't make our date, and
I gotta find a safe place for Daffy.  He loves you, Jim!  It's only two
days, and you'll see.  Great Danes are no problem!

Jim, this is Matty down at Ralph's and Mark's.  Some guy named Angel
Martin just ran up a fifty buck bar tab.  And now he wants to charge it
to you.  You gonna pay it?

JOB INTERVIEW:
        The excruciating process during which personnel officers
        separate the wheat from the chaff -- then hire the chaff.

job Placement, n:
        Telling your boss what he can do with your job.

Joe Cool always spends the first two weeks at college sailing his frisbee.
                -- Snoopy

Joe sat as his dying wife's bedside.
Her voice was little more than a whisper.
        "Joe, darling," she breathed, "I've got a confession to make
before I go.  I ... I'm the one who took the $10,000 from your safe...
I spent it on a fling with your best friend, Charles.  And it was I who
forced your mistress to leave the city.  And I am the one who reported
your income-tax evasion to the I.R.S..."
        "That's all right, dearest, don't give it a second thought,"
whispered Joe. "I'm the one who poisoned you."