Ever since prehistoric times, wise men have tried to understand...Ever since prehistoric times, wise men have tried to understand what,
exactly, make people laugh. That's why they were called "wise men."
All the other prehistoric people were out puncturing each other with
spears, and the wise men were back...
Every Horse has an Infinite Number of Legs (proof...Every Horse has an Infinite Number of Legs (proof by intimidation):
Horses have an even number of legs. Behind they have two legs, and in
front they have fore-legs. This makes six legs, which is certainly an
odd number of legs for a horse. But...
If a President doesn't do it to his wife, he'll do it to...If a President doesn't do it to his wife, he'll do it to his country.
The boss returned from lunch in a good mood and called...The boss returned from lunch in a good mood and called the whole staff
in to listen to a couple of jokes he had picked up. Everybody but one girl
laughed uproariously. "What's the matter?" grumbled the boss. "Haven't you
got a sense...
It is impossible to make anything
foolproof because fools...It is impossible to make anything
foolproof because fools are so ingenious.
Labor, n:
One of the processes whereby A acquires...Labor, n:
One of the processes whereby A acquires property for B.
-- Ambrose Bierce
Lo! Men have become the tool of their tools...Lo! Men have become the tool of their tools.
-- Henry David Thoreau
Never have so many understood so little about so much...Never have so many understood so little about so much.
-- James Burke
Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth...Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.
-- Erma Bombeck
Q: What do you call a WASP who doesn't work for...Q: What do you call a WASP who doesn't work for his father, isn't a
lawyer, and believes in social causes?
A: A failure.