Humor: Worst of Fortunes for the month of July, 2012

A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small package.
A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small package.

Back in the days of old Adam The grass served as mattress...
Back in the days of old Adam The grass served as mattress for madam, And they spent the whole day On the sex that today They would bounce on box springs, if they had 'em.

There once was a dentist named Stone Who saw all his patients...
There once was a dentist named Stone Who saw all his patients alone. In a fit of depravity He filled the wrong cavity, And my, how his practice has grown!

There was a young fellow named Paul Who confessed, "I have...
There was a young fellow named Paul Who confessed, "I have only one ball. But the size of my prick Is God's dirtiest trick, For my girls always ask, 'Is that all?'"

Awright, which one of you hid my PENIS ENVY?
Awright, which one of you hid my PENIS ENVY?

Let's send the Russians defective lifestyle accessories!
Let's send the Russians defective lifestyle accessories!

Fine's Corollary: Functionality breeds Contempt.
Fine's Corollary: Functionality breeds Contempt.

If you drink, don't park. Accidents make people.
If you drink, don't park. Accidents make people.

The best audience is intelligent, well-educated and a little...
The best audience is intelligent, well-educated and a little drunk. -- Maurice Baring

The telephone is a good way to talk to people without having...
The telephone is a good way to talk to people without having to offer them a drink. -- Fran Lebowitz, "Interview"