Humor: Worst of Fortunes for the month of January, 2012

Boy, n.: A noise with dirt on it.
Boy, n.: A noise with dirt on it.

The hearing ear is always found close to the speaking tongue,...
The hearing ear is always found close to the speaking tongue, a custom whereof the memory of man runneth not howsomever to the contrary, nohow.

May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits.
May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits.

Mosher's Law of Software Engineering: Don't worry if...
Mosher's Law of Software Engineering: Don't worry if it doesn't work right. If everything did, you'd be out of a job.

There once was a man from Racine, Who invented a screwing...
There once was a man from Racine, Who invented a screwing machine. Both concave and convex, It could please either sex, But, oh, what a bastard to clean!

There was a young man from St. Paul's Who read "Harper's...
There was a young man from St. Paul's Who read "Harper's Bazaar" and "McCall's" Till he grew such a passion For feminine fashion That he knitted a snood for his balls.

"'Tis true, 'tis pity, and pity 'tis 'tis true." --...
"'Tis true, 'tis pity, and pity 'tis 'tis true." -- Poloniouius, in Willie the Shake's _Hamlet, Prince of Darkness_

"The greatest dangers to liberty lurk in insidious...
"The greatest dangers to liberty lurk in insidious encroachment by mean of zeal, well-meaning but without understanding." -- Justice Louis O. Brandeis (Olmstead vs. United States)

Changing husbands/wives is only changing troubles...
Changing husbands/wives is only changing troubles. -- Kathleen Norris

Do not permit a woman to ask forgiveness, for that is only...
Do not permit a woman to ask forgiveness, for that is only the first step. The second is justification of herself by accusation of you. -- DeGourmont