Humor: Worst of Fortunes for the month of November, 2012

Shamus, n. [Yiddish]: A shamus is a guy who takes care...
Shamus, n. [Yiddish]: A shamus is a guy who takes care of handyman tasks around the temple, and makes sure everything is in working order. A shamus is at the bottom of the pecking order of synagog functionaries, and there's a joke about...

May you have many handsome and obedient sons.
May you have many handsome and obedient sons.

Sex is an emotion in motion. -- Mae West
Sex is an emotion in motion. -- Mae West

The difficult we do today; the impossible takes a little longer.
The difficult we do today; the impossible takes a little longer.

You will obey or molten silver will be poured into your ears.
You will obey or molten silver will be poured into your ears.

A distinguished professor from Swarthmore Got along with a sexy...
A distinguished professor from Swarthmore Got along with a sexy young sophomore. As quick as a glance He stripped off his pants, But he found that the sophomore'd got off more.

An old man at the Folies Bergere Had a jock, a most wondrous...
An old man at the Folies Bergere Had a jock, a most wondrous affair: It snipped off a twat-curl From each new chorus girl, And he had a wig made of the hair.

Each night Father fills me with dread When he sits on the foot...
Each night Father fills me with dread When he sits on the foot ofmy bed; I'd not mind that he speaks In gibbers and squeaks, But for the seventeen years he's been dead. -- Edward Gorey

From Number Nine, Penwiper Mews, There is really abominable...
From Number Nine, Penwiper Mews, There is really abominable news; They've discovered a head In the box for the bread, But nobody seems to know whose. -- Edward Gorey

From the bathing machine came a din As of jollification...
From the bathing machine came a din As of jollification within; It was heard far and wide, And the incoming tide Had a definite flavour of gin. -- Edward Gorey