Humor: Worst of Fortunes for the month of May, 2012

This life is a test. It is only a test. Had this been...
This life is a test. It is only a test. Had this been an actual life, you would have received further instructions as to what to do and where to go.

You know if they ever find a way to harness sarcasm as...
You know if they ever find a way to harness sarcasm as an energy source, you people are all going to owe me big. -- Bill Paul

FORTUNE REMEMBERS THE GREAT MOTHERS: \#6 "Johnny,...
FORTUNE REMEMBERS THE GREAT MOTHERS: \#6 "Johnny, if you fall and break your leg, don't come running to me!" -- Mrs. Emily Barstow, June 16, 1954

Since before the Earth was formed and before the sun burned...
Since before the Earth was formed and before the sun burned hot in space, cosmic forces of inexorable power have been working relentlessly toward this moment in space-time -- your receiving this fortune.

A computer, to print out a fact, Will divide, multiply,...
A computer, to print out a fact, Will divide, multiply, and subtract. But this output can be No more than debris, If the input was short of exact. -- Gigo

There once was a man from Calcutta Who used to beat off in...
There once was a man from Calcutta Who used to beat off in the gutta The heat of the sun Affected his gun And turned all his cream into butta!

The SAME WAVE keeps coming in and COLLAPSING like a rayon...
The SAME WAVE keeps coming in and COLLAPSING like a rayon MUU-MUU ...

Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except...
Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don't add up.

Testing can show the presense of bugs, but not their absence...
Testing can show the presense of bugs, but not their absence. -- Dijkstra

Police up your spare rounds and frags. Don't leave nothin'...
Police up your spare rounds and frags. Don't leave nothin' for the dinks. - Willem Dafoe in "Platoon"