Humor: Worst of Fortunes for the month of February, 2012

Good news is just life's way of keeping you off balance.
Good news is just life's way of keeping you off balance.

A marine being sent to Hong Kong Got a doctor to alter...
A marine being sent to Hong Kong Got a doctor to alter his dong. He sailed off with a tool Flat and thin as a rule - When he got there he found he was wrong.

A pious old woman named Tweak Had taught her vagina to speak...
A pious old woman named Tweak Had taught her vagina to speak. It was frequently liable To quote from the Bible, But when fucking -- not even a squeak!

A rapist who reeked of cheap booze Attempted to ravish Miss...
A rapist who reeked of cheap booze Attempted to ravish Miss Hughes. She cried, "I suppose There's no time for my clothes, But PLEASE let me take off my shoes!"

There once was a fairy named Avers Who encircled his cock with...
There once was a fairy named Avers Who encircled his cock with lifesavers. Though buggers all claimed That their asses were maimed, Sixy-niners all cheered the new flavors.

There once was a man from Nantucket, Whose cock was so long...
There once was a man from Nantucket, Whose cock was so long he could suck it. He said with a grin, As he wiped off his chin, If my ear were a cunt I could fuck it!

You will visit the Dung Pits of Glive soon.
You will visit the Dung Pits of Glive soon.

But what can you do with it? -- ubiquitous cry from Linux-user...
But what can you do with it? -- ubiquitous cry from Linux-user partner. (Submitted by Andy Pearce, ajp@hpopd.pwd.hp.com)

Under the wide and starry sky, Dig my grave and let...
Under the wide and starry sky, Dig my grave and let me lie, Glad did I live and gladly die, And laid me down with a will, And this be the verse that you grave for me, Here he lies where he longed to be, Home is the sailor home from the sea, And...