Humor: Worst of Fortunes for the month of March, 2012

Moe: Wanna play poker tonight? Joe: I can't. It's...
Moe: Wanna play poker tonight? Joe: I can't. It's the kids' night out. Moe: So? Joe: I gotta stay home with the nurse.

A man without a woman is like a fish without gills.
A man without a woman is like a fish without gills.

At the end of your life there'll be a good rest, and no further...
At the end of your life there'll be a good rest, and no further activities are scheduled.

I went on to test the program in every way I could devise...
I went on to test the program in every way I could devise. I strained it to expose its weaknesses. I ran it for high-mass stars and low-mass stars, for stars born exceedingly hot and those born relatively cold. I ran it assuming the superfluid...

A lovely young maid from St. Jude Once rode through the streets...
A lovely young maid from St. Jude Once rode through the streets in the nude. The police cried, "Whatam-- Agnificent bottom" And slapped it as hard as they cude.

There once was a girl from Decatur, Who got laid by a...
There once was a girl from Decatur, Who got laid by a big alligator. Now nobody knew The result of that screw, 'Cause after he laid her, he ate her.

There was a young fellow named Babbitt Who could screw nine...
There was a young fellow named Babbitt Who could screw nine times like a rabbit, But a girl from Johore Could do it twice more, Which was just enough extra to crab it.

Unfair animal names: -- tsetse fly --...
Unfair animal names: -- tsetse fly -- bullhead -- booby -- duck-billed platypus -- sapsucker -- Clarence -- Gary Larson

Try to get all of your posthumous medals in advance.
Try to get all of your posthumous medals in advance.

You will be singled out for promotion in your work.
You will be singled out for promotion in your work.