Humor: Worst of Fortunes for the month of September, 2012

Leakproof seals --- will.
Leakproof seals --- will.

A man without a woman is like a statue without pigeons.
A man without a woman is like a statue without pigeons.

By the yard, life is hard. By the inch, it's a cinch.
By the yard, life is hard. By the inch, it's a cinch.

I think the world is run by C students. --...
I think the world is run by C students. -- Al McGuire

When you've seen one nuclear war, you've seen them all.
When you've seen one nuclear war, you've seen them all.

A cautious young fellow named Tunney Had a whang that was worth...
A cautious young fellow named Tunney Had a whang that was worth any money. When eased in half-way, The girl's sigh made him say, "Why the sigh?" "For the rest of it, honey."

A nurse motivated by spite Tied her infantine charge to...
A nurse motivated by spite Tied her infantine charge to a kite; She launched it with ease On the afternoon breeze, And watched till it flew out of sight. -- Edward Gorey

A young man by a girl was desired To give her the thrills...
A young man by a girl was desired To give her the thrills she required, But he died of old age Ere his cock could assuage The volcanic desire it inspired.

An anonymous woman we knew Was dozing one day in her pew; ...
An anonymous woman we knew Was dozing one day in her pew; When the preacher yelled "Sin!" She said, "Count me in As soon as the service is through."

An artist who lived in Australia Once painted his ass like...
An artist who lived in Australia Once painted his ass like a Dahlia. The drawing was fine, The colour - divine, The scent - ah, that was a failia.