Humor: Worst of Fortunes for the month of July, 2013

There once was a man from Nantucket, Whose cock was so long...
There once was a man from Nantucket, Whose cock was so long he could suck it. He said with a grin, As he wiped off his chin, If my ear were a cunt I could fuck it!

New Year's Eve is the time of year when a man most feels...
New Year's Eve is the time of year when a man most feels his age, and his wife most often reminds him to act it. -- Webster's Unafraid Dictionary

CONFIRMED BACHELOR: A man who goes through life without...
CONFIRMED BACHELOR: A man who goes through life without a hitch.

I GUESS OF ALL MY UNCLES, I liked Uncle Caveman the best...
I GUESS OF ALL MY UNCLES, I liked Uncle Caveman the best. We called him Uncle Caveman because he lived in a cave and because sometimes he'd eat one of us. Later, we found out he was a bear. -- Jack Handley, The New Mexican, 1988.

May your SO always know when you need a hug.
May your SO always know when you need a hug.

Sex: the thing that takes up the least amount of time...
Sex: the thing that takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble. -- John Barrymore

This login session: $13.99
This login session: $13.99

A broken-down harlot named Tupps Was heard to confess in...
A broken-down harlot named Tupps Was heard to confess in her cups: "The height of my folly Was diddling a collie- But I got a nice price for the pups."

A playful young chemist named Byrd Had an urge that could...
A playful young chemist named Byrd Had an urge that could not be deferred. So to irritate Knox He shit in his sox, And plastered the walls with his turd.

There once was a plumber from Leigh Who was plumbing his maid...
There once was a plumber from Leigh Who was plumbing his maid by the sea. Said she, "Please stop plumbing, I think someone's coming!" Said he, "Yes, I know love, it's me."