Humor: Worst of Fortunes for the month of August, 2013

There was a young man from New Haven Who had an affair with...
There was a young man from New Haven Who had an affair with a raven. He said with a grin As he wiped off his chin, "Nevermore!"

There was a young man from Purdue Who was only just learning...
There was a young man from Purdue Who was only just learning to screw, But he hadn't the knack, And he got too far back -- In the right church, but in the wrong pew.

Despising machines to a man, The Luddites joined up with...
Despising machines to a man, The Luddites joined up with the Klan, And ride out by night In a sheeting of white To lynch all the robots they can. -- C. M. and G. A. Maxson

Confession is good for the soul, but bad for the career.
Confession is good for the soul, but bad for the career.

Usage: fortune -P [-f] -a [xsz] Q: file [rKe9] -v6[+] file1 ...
Usage: fortune -P [-f] -a [xsz] Q: file [rKe9] -v6[+] file1 ...

A pansy who lived in Khartoum Took a lesbian up to his room...
A pansy who lived in Khartoum Took a lesbian up to his room. They argued all night Over who had the right To do what, with which, and to whom.

A wide-bottomed girl named Trasket Had a hole as big as...
A wide-bottomed girl named Trasket Had a hole as big as a basket. A spot, as a bride, In it now, you could hide, And include with your luggage your mascot.

There once was a girl so lovely, Who wanted to make love in...
There once was a girl so lovely, Who wanted to make love in the bubbly, She strapped on her tanks, And started her pranks, But the lobsters all thought she was ugly.

There once was a man from Nantucket Who kept all his cash in...
There once was a man from Nantucket Who kept all his cash in a bucket. His daughter, named Nan, Ran away with a man, And as for the bucket, Nantucket. The pair of them went to Manhasset, (Nan and the man with the asset.)...

There once was a man from Nantucket Whose dick was so long...
There once was a man from Nantucket Whose dick was so long he could suck it. He said with a grin As he wiped off his chin, "If my ear was a cunt, I could fuck it."