Humor: Worst of Fortunes for the month of February, 2013

"Virtual" means never knowing where your next byte...
"Virtual" means never knowing where your next byte is coming from.

"Fucked by the finger of Fate!" Bewailed a young...
"Fucked by the finger of Fate!" Bewailed a young fellow named Tate. "Since dating Miss Baugh, My whole tongue has been raw-- It must have been something I ate."

A gift was delivered to Laura From a cousin who lived...
A gift was delivered to Laura From a cousin who lived in Gomorrah; Wrapped in tissue and crepe, It was peeled, like a grape, And emitted a pale, greenish aura. -- Edward Gorey

A guest in a household quite charmless Was informed...
A guest in a household quite charmless Was informed its eccentric was harmless: "If you're caught unawares At the head of the stairs, Just remember, he's eyeless and armless." -- Edward Gorey

From the bathing machine came a din As of jollification...
From the bathing machine came a din As of jollification within; It was heard far and wide, And the incoming tide Had a definite flavour of gin. -- Edward Gorey

There once was a man from Nantucket Whose dick was so long...
There once was a man from Nantucket Whose dick was so long he could suck it. He said with a grin As he wiped off his chin, "If my ear was a cunt, I could fuck it."

There was a young girl from Dundee, From her fanny there grew...
There was a young girl from Dundee, From her fanny there grew a plum tree. No one ate the nice fruit, To tell you the truth, Because they knew it came from her tooty-toot-toot.

There was a young lady from Siam Who said to her lover,...
There was a young lady from Siam Who said to her lover, one Kiam, "You may kiss me of course, But you'll have to use force. Though god knows you're stronger than I am."

There was a young lady named Riddle Who had an untouchable...
There was a young lady named Riddle Who had an untouchable middle. She had many friends Because of her ends, Since it isn't the middle you diddle.

There was a young lady of Gloucester Whose friends they thought...
There was a young lady of Gloucester Whose friends they thought they had lost her Till they found on the grass The marks of her arse, And the knees of the man who had crossed her.