Humor: Worst of Fortunes for the month of January, 2013

Sex without love is an empty experience, but, as empty...
Sex without love is an empty experience, but, as empty experiences go, it's one of the best. -- Woody Allen

A man without a woman is like a statue without pigeons.
A man without a woman is like a statue without pigeons.

It is better to wear out than to rust out.
It is better to wear out than to rust out.

A cautious young fellow named Tunney Had a whang that was worth...
A cautious young fellow named Tunney Had a whang that was worth any money. When eased in half-way, The girl's sigh made him say, "Why the sigh?" "For the rest of it, honey."

A newlywed couple from Goshen Spent their honeymoon sailing...
A newlywed couple from Goshen Spent their honeymoon sailing the ocean. In twenty-eight days They got laid eighty ways -- Imagine such fucking devotion!

There once was a man from Sydney Who could put it up to...
There once was a man from Sydney Who could put it up to her kidney. But the man from Quebec Put it up to her neck; He had a big one, now didn't he?

There once was a man named Lodge, who had seatbelts installed...
There once was a man named Lodge, who had seatbelts installed in his Dodge. When his date was strapped in, He committed a sin, without ever leaving the garage.

There once was a man named McSweeny Who spilled some raw gin...
There once was a man named McSweeny Who spilled some raw gin on his weeny. Just to be couth, He added vermouth, And slipped his girlfriend a martini.

There once was a young man named Gene, Who invented a screwing...
There once was a young man named Gene, Who invented a screwing machine. Concave and convex, It served either sex, And it played with itself inbetween.

There was a young lady from Bright, Whose speed was much faster...
There was a young lady from Bright, Whose speed was much faster than light. She went out one day In a relative way And returned on the previous night.