Humor: Worst of Fortunes for Wednesday July 3, 2013

I GUESS OF ALL MY UNCLES, I liked Uncle Caveman the best...
I GUESS OF ALL MY UNCLES, I liked Uncle Caveman the best. We called him Uncle Caveman because he lived in a cave and because sometimes he'd eat one of us. Later, we found out he was a bear. -- Jack Handley, The New Mexican, 1988.

A playful young chemist named Byrd Had an urge that could...
A playful young chemist named Byrd Had an urge that could not be deferred. So to irritate Knox He shit in his sox, And plastered the walls with his turd.

There was an old man from Duluth Whose cock was shot off in...
There was an old man from Duluth Whose cock was shot off in his youth. He fucked with his nose Or his fingers and toes And he came thru a hole in his tooth.