Humor: Worst of Fortunes for the month of June, 2013

Bell Labs Unix -- Reach out and grep someone.
Bell Labs Unix -- Reach out and grep someone.

A man without a woman is like a fish without gills.
A man without a woman is like a fish without gills.

There was a boy called Eustace Clarence Scrubb, and he almost...
There was a boy called Eustace Clarence Scrubb, and he almost deserved it." -- C.S. Lewis, "The Chronicles of Narnia"

A cautious young fellow named Lodge, Had seatbelts installed...
A cautious young fellow named Lodge, Had seatbelts installed in his Dodge. With his date all strapped in He committed a sin Without even leaving the garage. -- "A Boy and His Dog"

A hidebound young virgin named Carrie Would say, when...
A hidebound young virgin named Carrie Would say, when the fellows got hairy : "Keep your prick in your pants Till the end of this dance--" Which is why Carrie still has her cherry.

A joker who haunts Monticello Is really a terrible fellow...
A joker who haunts Monticello Is really a terrible fellow. In the midst of caresses He fills ladies dresses With garter snakes, ice cubes, and jello.

A lad, at his first copulation, Cried, "What a sensation! ...
A lad, at his first copulation, Cried, "What a sensation! Inflation, Gyration, elation Throughout the duration, I guess I'll give up masturbation."

A passionate red-haired girl When you kissed her, her senses...
A passionate red-haired girl When you kissed her, her senses would whirl, And her twat would get wet, And would wiggle and fret, And her cunt-lips would curl and unfurl.

A silly young man from Hong Kong Had hands that were skinny...
A silly young man from Hong Kong Had hands that were skinny and long. He ate rice with his fingers-- The taste of it lingers, But now all his fingers are gone.

There once was a floozie named Annie Whose prices were...
There once was a floozie named Annie Whose prices were cosy--but cannie: A buck for a fuck, Fifty cents for a suck, And a dime for a feel of her fanny.