Humor: Worst of Fortunes for Sunday August 10, 2014

A nudist resort at Benares Took a midget in all unawares...
A nudist resort at Benares Took a midget in all unawares. But he made members weep For he just couldn't keep His nose out of private affairs.

A pious young lady of Chichester Made all of the saints...
A pious young lady of Chichester Made all of the saints in their niches stir And each morning at matin Her breast in pink satin Made the bishop of Chichester's breeches stir.

An old gentleman's crotchets and quibblings Were a terrible...
An old gentleman's crotchets and quibblings Were a terrible trial to his siblings, But he was not removed Till one day it was proved That the bell-ropes were damp with his dribblings. -- Edward Gorey

There once was a man from Racine, Who invented a screwing...
There once was a man from Racine, Who invented a screwing machine. Both concave and convex, It could please either sex, But, oh, what a bastard to clean!

There was a poor parson from Goring, Who made a small hole...
There was a poor parson from Goring, Who made a small hole in his flooring, Fur-lined it all round, Then laid on the ground, And declared it was cheaper than whoring.