Humor: Worst of Fortunes for Sunday May 24, 2015

If you're going to America, bring your own food...
If you're going to America, bring your own food. -- Fran Lebowitz, "Social Studies"

There once was a man from Racine, Who invented a screwing...
There once was a man from Racine, Who invented a screwing machine. Both concave and convex, It could please either sex, But, oh, what a bastard to clean!

While Titian was mixing rose madder, His model reclined on...
While Titian was mixing rose madder, His model reclined on a ladder. Her position to Titian Suggested coition, So he leapt up the ladder and had 'er.

You Women's Lib gals won't agree, But dependent on men you must...
You Women's Lib gals won't agree, But dependent on men you must be: You'll need a him With a rod firm and trim, To puggle your water-drains free!