There once was a man from Dunoon,
Who always ate soup with...There once was a man from Dunoon,
Who always ate soup with a fork.
He said "When I eat
Either fish, foul or flesh,
I otherwise finish too quick."
There once was a man from Nantucket
Who kept all his cash in...There once was a man from Nantucket
Who kept all his cash in a bucket.
His daughter, named Nan,
Ran away with a man,
And as for the bucket, Nantucket.
The pair of them went to Manhasset,
(Nan and the man with the asset.)...
There once was a man from Nantucket,
Whose cock was so long...There once was a man from Nantucket,
Whose cock was so long he could suck it.
He said with a grin,
As he wiped off his chin,
If my ear were a cunt I could fuck it!
There was a young plumber named Lee
Who was plumbing his girl...There was a young plumber named Lee
Who was plumbing his girl by the sea.
She said, "Stop your plumbing,
There's somebody coming"
Said the plumber, still plumbing, "It's me."
Lady, lady, should you meet
One whose ways are...Lady, lady, should you meet
One whose ways are all discreet,
One who murmurs that his wife
Is the lodestar of his life,
One who keeps assuring you
That he never was untrue,
Never loved another one...
Lady, lady, better run!
-- Dorothy...