Humor: Worst of Fortunes for Tuesday September 1, 2015

There once was a girl named Mcgoffin Who was diddled amazingly...
There once was a girl named Mcgoffin Who was diddled amazingly often. She was rogered by scores Who'd been turned down by whores, And was finally screwed in her coffin.

There once was a man from Nantucket Whose dick was so long...
There once was a man from Nantucket Whose dick was so long he could suck it. He said with a grin As he wiped off his chin, "If my ear was a cunt, I could fuck it."