Humor: Worst of Fortunes for Sunday July 3, 2016

Women give to men the very gold of their lives. Possibly;...
Women give to men the very gold of their lives. Possibly; but they invariably want it back in such very small change. -- Wilde

There once was a man from Nantucket Who kept all his cash in...
There once was a man from Nantucket Who kept all his cash in a bucket. His daughter, named Nan, Ran away with a man, And as for the bucket, Nantucket. The pair of them went to Manhasset, (Nan and the man with the asset.)...

There was a lewd fellow named Duff Who loved to dive deep...
There was a lewd fellow named Duff Who loved to dive deep in the muff. With his head in a whirl He said, "Spread it, Pearl; I cunt get enough of the stuff!"

There was a young man from Nantucket Whose cock was so long...
There was a young man from Nantucket Whose cock was so long he could suck it. He said with a grin, While wiping his chin, "If my ear was a cunt, I could fuck it."

There was a young man from St. Paul's Who read "Harper's...
There was a young man from St. Paul's Who read "Harper's Bazaar" and "McCall's" Till he grew such a passion For feminine fashion That he knitted a snood for his balls.