Humor: Worst of Fortunes for Saturday July 2, 2016

"Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proved...
"Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proved it correct, not tried it." -- Donald Knuth

A cautious young fellow named Tunney Had a whang that was worth...
A cautious young fellow named Tunney Had a whang that was worth any money. When eased in half-way, The girl's sigh made him say, "Why the sigh?" "For the rest of it, honey."

Each night Father fills me with dread When he sits on the foot...
Each night Father fills me with dread When he sits on the foot ofmy bed; I'd not mind that he speaks In gibbers and squeaks, But for the seventeen years he's been dead. -- Edward Gorey

There once was a man from Nantucket Whose dick was so long...
There once was a man from Nantucket Whose dick was so long he could suck it. He said with a grin As he wiped off his chin, "If my ear was a cunt, I could fuck it."

There once was a man from Racine, Who invented a screwing...
There once was a man from Racine, Who invented a screwing machine. Both concave and convex, It could please either sex, But, oh, what a bastard to clean!

There once was a man named McSweeny Who spilled lots of gin...
There once was a man named McSweeny Who spilled lots of gin on his weeney So just to be couth He added vermouth And slipped his best girl a martini.