Humor: Worst of Fortunes for Sunday July 24, 2016

A programmer down in Moline Said, I'm the match for...
A programmer down in Moline Said, I'm the match for any machine. My secret's aversion, To loops and recursion, Just acres of in-line routine. -- W.J. Wilson

A progressive professor named Winners Held classes each evening...
A progressive professor named Winners Held classes each evening for sinners. They were graded and spaced So the vile and debased Would not be held back by beginners.

A sweetheart named Teresa Arden Went down on her beau in...
A sweetheart named Teresa Arden Went down on her beau in the garden. He said, "Good lord, Tess, Don't swallow that mess " And she replied, "Ulp, beg your pardon?"

A very odd pair are the Pitts: His balls are as large as...
A very odd pair are the Pitts: His balls are as large as her tits, Her tits are as large As an invasion barge-- Neither knows how the other cohabits.

The wonderful thing about a dancing bear is not how well...
The wonderful thing about a dancing bear is not how well he dances, but that he dances at all.