Humor: Worst of Fortunes for Friday September 9, 2016

A sailor who slept in the sun, Woke to find his fly buttons...
A sailor who slept in the sun, Woke to find his fly buttons undone, He remarked with a smile, "Good grief, a sun-dial! And now it's a quarter-past one."

A tired young trollop of Nome Was worn out from her toes to...
A tired young trollop of Nome Was worn out from her toes to her dome. Eight miners came screwing, But she said, "Nothing doing; One of you has to go home!"

There once was a lady named Myrtle Who had an affair with...
There once was a lady named Myrtle Who had an affair with a turtle. She had crabs, so they say, In a year and a day Which proved that that turtle was fertile.

There once was a young man from Yuma Who attempted sex with...
There once was a young man from Yuma Who attempted sex with a puma He gave up real quick Minus nose, toes, and prick In obvious pain and ill huma.