Humor: Worst of Fortunes for Monday August 6, 2018

Each Friday his engines abort, But Scotty is never caught...
Each Friday his engines abort, But Scotty is never caught short. He fills his machines With space-navy beans, And farts the ship back into port.

Each night Father fills me with dread When he sits on the foot...
Each night Father fills me with dread When he sits on the foot ofmy bed; I'd not mind that he speaks In gibbers and squeaks, But for the seventeen years he's been dead. -- Edward Gorey

There once was a man from Dunoon, Who always ate soup with...
There once was a man from Dunoon, Who always ate soup with a fork. He said "When I eat Either fish, foul or flesh, I otherwise finish too quick."

There once was a sad Maitre d'hotel Who said, "They...
There once was a sad Maitre d'hotel Who said, "They can all go to hell! What they do to my wife -- Why it ruins my life; And the worst is they all do it well."

There was a young girl of Aberystwyth Who screwed every...
There was a young girl of Aberystwyth Who screwed every man that she kissed with. She tickled the balls Of the men in the halls, And pulled on the prongs that they pissed with.