Humor: Worst of Fortunes for Friday November 29, 2019

As tourists inspected the apse An ominous series of raps ...
As tourists inspected the apse An ominous series of raps Came from under the altar, Which caused some to falter And others to shriek and collapse. -- Edward Gorey

There once were two brothers named Luntz Who buggered each...
There once were two brothers named Luntz Who buggered each other at once. When asked to account For this intricate mount, They said, "Ass-holes are tighter than cunts."