Humor: Worst of Fortunes for Friday December 8, 2023

There was a young lady from Troy Had a moustache, just like...
There was a young lady from Troy Had a moustache, just like a young boy Though it tickled to kiss 'Twas a source of much bliss When she used it to brush a man's toy.

A broken-down harlot named Tupps Was heard to confess in...
A broken-down harlot named Tupps Was heard to confess in her cups: "The height of my folly Was diddling a collie- But I got a nice price for the pups."

A daredevil skater named Lowe, Leaps barrels arranged in...
A daredevil skater named Lowe, Leaps barrels arranged in the snow, But is proudest of doing, Some incredible screwing, Since he's jumped thirteen girls in a row!

A lady both callous and brash Met a man with a vast black...
A lady both callous and brash Met a man with a vast black moustache; She cried, "Shave it, O do! And I'll put it with glue On my hat as a sort of panache." -- Edward Gorey

A lady stockholder quite hetera Decided her fortune...
A lady stockholder quite hetera Decided her fortune to bettera: On the floor, quite unclad, She successively had Merrill Lynch, Pierce, Fenner, et cetera...

There was a girl from Aberystwyth Who brought grain to the mill...
There was a girl from Aberystwyth Who brought grain to the mill to get grist with. The miller's son Jack Laid her flat on her back And united the organs they pissed with.

There was a young fellow named Prynne Whose prick was so short...
There was a young fellow named Prynne Whose prick was so short and so thin, His wife found she needed A Fuckoscope -- she did -- To see if he'd gotten it in.