There was a young lady from Troy
Had a moustache, just like...There was a young lady from Troy
Had a moustache, just like a young boy
Though it tickled to kiss
'Twas a source of much bliss
When she used it to brush a man's toy.
A bad little girl in Madrid,
A most reprehensible kid,
...A bad little girl in Madrid,
A most reprehensible kid,
Told her Tante Louise
That her cunt smelled like cheese,
And the worst of it was that it did!
A charmer from old Amarillo,
Sick of finding strange heads...A charmer from old Amarillo,
Sick of finding strange heads on her pillow,
Decided one day
That to keep men away
She would stuff up her crevice with Brillo.
There once was a bishop from Birmingham
Who deflowered young...There once was a bishop from Birmingham
Who deflowered young girls while confirming 'em.
As they knelt on the hassock
He lifted his cassock
And slipped his episcopal worm in 'em.
There once was a young man named Clyde
Who fell in an outhouse,...There once was a young man named Clyde
Who fell in an outhouse, and died.
He had a twin brother
Who fell in another
And now they're interred side by side.
There was a young lady of Kent,
Who admitted she knew what...There was a young lady of Kent,
Who admitted she knew what it meant
When men asked her to dine,
And plied her with wine,
She knew, oh she knew -- but she went!
There was a young lady of Rhyll
In an omnibus was taken ill,
...There was a young lady of Rhyll
In an omnibus was taken ill,
So she called the conductor,
Who got in and fucked her,
Which did more good than a pill.
There was a young lady of Spain
Who was fucked by a monk in...There was a young lady of Spain
Who was fucked by a monk in a drain.
They did it again
And again and again,
And again and again and again.