Humor: Worst of Fortunes for Friday January 17, 2025

There once was a man from Sydney Who could put it up to...
There once was a man from Sydney Who could put it up to her kidney. But the man from Quebec Put it up to her neck; He had a big one, now didn't he?

There once was an old man from Esser, Who's knowledge grew...
There once was an old man from Esser, Who's knowledge grew lesser and lesser. It at last grew so small, He knew nothing at all, And now he's a College Professor.

There was a young man named Hughes Who swore off all kinds...
There was a young man named Hughes Who swore off all kinds of booze. He said, "When I'm muddled My senses get fuddled, And I pass up too many screws."

There was a young man of Bengal Who swore he had only...
There was a young man of Bengal Who swore he had only one ball, But two little bitches Unbuttoned his britches, And found he had no balls at all.

There was a young man of Dumfries Who said to his girl,...
There was a young man of Dumfries Who said to his girl, "If you please, It would give me great bliss If, while playing with this, You would pay some attention to these!"

There was a young plumber named Lee Who was plumbing his girl...
There was a young plumber named Lee Who was plumbing his girl by the sea. She said, "Stop your plumbing, There's somebody coming" Said the plumber, still plumbing, "It's me."

Under the spreading chestnut tree The village smith he sat, ...
Under the spreading chestnut tree The village smith he sat, Amusing himself By abusing himself And catching the load in his hat.