Humor: Worst of Fortunes for Monday January 6, 2025

A burlesque dancer, a pip Named Virginia, could peel in a zip; ...
A burlesque dancer, a pip Named Virginia, could peel in a zip; But she read science fiction And died of constriction Attempting a Moebius strip. -- Cyril Kornbluth, "The Unfortunate Topology"

A cabin boy on an old clipper Grew steadily flipper...
A cabin boy on an old clipper Grew steadily flipper and flipper. He plugged up his ass With fragments of glass And thus circumcised his old skipper.

There once was a miner named Dave, Who kept a dead whore in...
There once was a miner named Dave, Who kept a dead whore in his cave. She was ugly as shit, And missing one tit, But think of the money he saves.

There was a young girl who begat Three babies named Nat,...
There was a young girl who begat Three babies named Nat, Pat and Tat. T'was fun in the breeding But hell in the feeding When she found there's no tit for Tat.

There was a young man of Australia Who went on a wild...
There was a young man of Australia Who went on a wild bacchanalia. He buggered a frog, Two mice and a dog, And a bishop in fullest regalia.