Humor: Best of Fortunes for Sunday August 31, 2014

A do-it-yourselfer named Alice, Used a dynamite stick for...
A do-it-yourselfer named Alice, Used a dynamite stick for a phallus. She blew her vagina To South Carolina, And her tits landed somewhere in Dallas. A cute friend of hers, Fanny Hill, Used two dynamite sticks for a dil. They...

A dulcet-voiced callgirl named Shedd, Who's cultured,...
A dulcet-voiced callgirl named Shedd, Who's cultured, well-spoken, well-bred, Had achieved some reknown For her tone going down-- There's a nice civil tongue in her head.

There once was a jolly old bloke Who picked up a girl for...
There once was a jolly old bloke Who picked up a girl for a poke. He took down her pants, Fucked her into a trance, And then shit into her shoe for a joke.

There was a young man from Kent Whose tool was so long that...
There was a young man from Kent Whose tool was so long that it bent. To save himself trouble He put it in double And instead of coming, he went.