Humor: Best of Fortunes for Thursday April 9, 2015

A lady while dining at Crewe Found an elephant's whang in...
A lady while dining at Crewe Found an elephant's whang in her stew. Said the waiter, "Don't shout, And don't wave it about, Or the others will all want one too."

There once was a man from Sydney Who could put it up to...
There once was a man from Sydney Who could put it up to her kidney. But the man from Quebec Put it up to her neck; He had a big one, now didn't he?

There was a young man named McNamiter With a tool of prodigious...
There was a young man named McNamiter With a tool of prodigious diameter. But it wasn't the size Gave the girls a surprise, But his rythm -- iambic pentameter.

There was an old man of Duddee Who came home as drunk as could...
There was an old man of Duddee Who came home as drunk as could be. He wound up the clock With the end of his cock, And buggered his wife with the key.

There was an old man of Tagore Whose tool was a yard long...
There was an old man of Tagore Whose tool was a yard long or more, So he wore the damn thing In a surgical sling To keep it from wiping the floor.

IBM: It may be slow, but it's hard to use.
IBM: It may be slow, but it's hard to use.