Humor: Best of Fortunes for Wednesday April 15, 2015

A pretty young lady named Vogel Once sat herself down on...
A pretty young lady named Vogel Once sat herself down on a molehill. A curious mole Nosed into her hole- Ms. Vogel's ok, but the mole's ill.

There once was a man from Nantucket Who kept all his cash in...
There once was a man from Nantucket Who kept all his cash in a bucket. His daughter, named Nan, Ran away with a man, And as for the bucket, Nantucket. The pair of them went to Manhasset, (Nan and the man with the asset.)...

There once was a young man named Gene, Who invented a screwing...
There once was a young man named Gene, Who invented a screwing machine. Concave and convex, It served either sex, And it played with itself inbetween.

There was a young girl of Aberystwyth Who took grain to...
There was a young girl of Aberystwyth Who took grain to the mill to get grist with. The miller's sun, Jack, Laid her flat on her back, And united the organs they pissed with.

There was a young man named Rex Who really was small for...
There was a young man named Rex Who really was small for his sex. When tried for exposure The judge's disclosure Was "de minimus non curat lex."

Nobody shot me. -- Frank Gusenberg, his last...
Nobody shot me. -- Frank Gusenberg, his last words, when asked by police who had shot him 14 times with a machine gun in the Saint Valentine's Day Massacre.

Nothing is illegal if one hundred businessmen decide to do it...
Nothing is illegal if one hundred businessmen decide to do it. -- Andrew Young

Only Capone kills like that. -- George...
Only Capone kills like that. -- George "Bugs" Moran, on the Saint Valentine's Day Massacre