Humor: Best of Fortunes for Sunday April 5, 2015

There once was a chick named Longet, Who went out to Aspen...
There once was a chick named Longet, Who went out to Aspen to play. Along came a Spyder, Who sat down beside her And she blew the poor bastard away.

There was a young man from Purdue Who was only just learning...
There was a young man from Purdue Who was only just learning to screw, But he hadn't the knack, And he got too far back -- In the right church, but in the wrong pew.

I've finally found the perfect girl, I couldn't ask...
I've finally found the perfect girl, I couldn't ask for more, She's deaf and dumb and over-sexed, And owns a liquor store.

The Pig, if I am not mistaken, Gives us ham and pork...
The Pig, if I am not mistaken, Gives us ham and pork and Bacon. Let others think his heart is big, I think it stupid of the Pig. -- Ogden Nash